My wife always asked me to write about my struggle with quitting
smoking. She thinks that anything I write about this struggle will help someone
out there.
I certainly had intentions of quitting smoking but I didn’t think I
would be doing it so quickly. I started smoking at the age of 22. I’m sure
everyone remembers their first cigarette because I remember it very vividly. I
was over at an old friend’s house partying with my twin and just couldn’t help
but to try and I’ve been addicted to it ever since. I can’t recall the moment I
started buying my own pack but it followed very soon. The addiction went on for
eight years before I put a stop to it and I have to be honest, in the entire
eight years I have been smoking, I never really wanted to quit. The thought
crossed my mind so many times but I always found a way to reason with myself and
justify my habit.
I still remember countless lies and excuses that I had to come up
with when I was with my wife just to walk away to have a smoke. My culture or at
least in my household, smoking wasn’t welcome. My dad was a smoker from the time
he got into the police force ages ago. Growing up at home, I can’t recall one
time that I saw my dad smoke in front of my brother and I. He will send me to
the convenience store to buy him a pack but my memories of seeing him smoke are
not vivid, because they were nonexistent. When my brother was caught smoking,
he got the bad end of it and my parents tried everything to make him quit and
they failed. My brother thought my dad was a hypocrite and I don’t blame him
for feeling the way he did. In my case, my mom saw me smoking at the airport in
Abu Dhabi for the first time. Was she disappointed? Yes she was but what can
she do? She tried talking to me but I could care less.
Eight years passed by very quickly with many changes in my life. I
got married, bought a house, job promotions etc. There were always plenty of
reasons to continue my habit. When wife came into the picture seven years ago,
she started giving me pressure to stop and she was very upset with my habit. I
came up with future dates to quit and kept smoking behind her back. When I do
get caught, it will blow up in to huge arguments and that didn’t even stop me
from quitting. I never appreciated when someone asked me to quit as I thought it
was very disrespectful to be told. I’ve always told everyone that I would do it,
when I’m ready.
